In Progress
 
HomePlayer's HandbookFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
Welcome to Essence RP: Beta!
Timeline
Year
112 AE

Quarter
Dawn | Rise | Waning | Fall

Important Topics
Open Events
Quests

Dungeons
Coming soon

Events
Coming soon
Top posting users this week

Share | 
 

 Drachen Geist König (finished)

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Adelinda Dietrich
New Writer
avatarNew Writer


Character

  • Human

Awards
None

Posts : 5

#1PostSubject: Drachen Geist König (finished)   Sat Jul 01, 2017 12:30 am



Name: Adelinda Dietrich Ritcher von Saarbrucken the one and true king of Altdorf

Race: Human
Class: Crusader/Knight

Age: 25
Faction: N/A
Alignment: Lawful

-------------------

Strengths and weaknesses:
 
-------------------

Powers:
 

image gallery:
 

Personality:
 

history:
 


Last edited by Adelinda Dietrich on Tue Jul 04, 2017 2:03 pm; edited 3 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.essencerp.net/t79-drachen-geist-konig-finished#140
Valindra Evantis
New Writer
avatarNew Writer


Story Master

The healer of Evantis
Awards
Beta Tester

Posts : 14

#2PostSubject: Re: Drachen Geist König (finished)   Tue Jul 04, 2017 1:10 pm

Okay so there are afew problems with this app wich i will list below.

"When her need is great enough she can rouse the ghosts of the former knights from their graves to defend her in a time of great need" See, you picked knight or warrior wich means you're not a mage, i wouldnt look twice at this if it when it was something mundane like a light to see in the dark but necromancy or just raising the dead in general should be reserved to magic user classes.

"She...he...it is capable of exceeding speeds of forty miles an hour, kicking concrete walls apart and easily carrying the weight of a man in full plate mail like it was nothing." Im discussing this with the staff, but as it is now that is a no. No horse regardless of the power should be able to kick a wall down. I've no problem with it's speed you can keep that but if you do want something to kick a wall down pick something more apropriate like a rhino or something heavy. Also immortality is a bit of a risky thing to include but ill let it slide.

"the ability to unleash these remnants of emotions in a fiery explosion." First off, that would backfire horribly as using it in close range like a sword should would get you caught in the blast range. Secondly, again like i mentioned you're a warrior and your magic is very limited, so flashy things like that are a no. Again, if you had it be a more mundane effect i'd allow it but not someting like this.

"The magical effect it carries is that it can serve as a physical barrier to beings that would normally be able to pass through objects; ghosts, mages who use spells to phase through physical objects and other spiritual beings will find the armour existing as a physical barrier for them." This is not going to fly at all. I mentioned before you need to limit magic in your char wich is a warrior, but this is extremely powerfull even if you had a crusader wich is the magic/knight hybrid. You cannot completely negate magical damage. You can have it give your char a ressistance but this is just too powerfull.

Also, half of your weaknesses are pretty much quirks specifically the first 3 as they dont really offer a way to defeat her in combat but to inconvenience her out of combat. You should at least put some direct way to defeat her in combat seeing how she has some really distinct strengths.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Valindra Evantis
New Writer
avatarNew Writer


Story Master

The healer of Evantis
Awards
Beta Tester

Posts : 14

#3PostSubject: Re: Drachen Geist König (finished)   Tue Jul 04, 2017 2:04 pm

is fine to me, approved.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




#4PostSubject: Re: Drachen Geist König (finished)   

Back to top Go down
 
Drachen Geist König (finished)
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Drazhar Conversion - Finished 18 Dec
» Rock Lobba Finished
» AstroSlugs is now available! - Mr. Bill finally finished it!
» Just finished...
» Helldorado - Panther and finished Starter box

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Essence RP: Beta :: Welcome Area :: Character Sheets-
Jump to: